By Ashley Wright | March 27, 2014 0 Comments

I was in tears when I read this mother’s story. Part of my response to her was, “Yes I can BF Shannon and connect with her this way, yet the ability to do what you have done with River, encourage his fight and yours, to relactate for him, is far greater and shows such a deep spiritual connection that is just as strong if not stronger; without him even having to nurse from you. Please remind and encourage yourself that you are missing nothing. That BF is intended for health and connection and you my dear have created an avenue to do just that with your circumstances, without him having to be latched to your nipple and THAT…THAT IS AMAZING AND WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT!”

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I’ve found myself looking through your feed again tonight, and I felt like I needed to share this with you.

This is the one and only picture of my son breastfeeding that I have.

He only breastfed a handful of times due to all of his medical issues. Currently he eats some solids during the day, had a feeding tube from 8pm to 8am, and has never taken a bottle either so he’s just now starting to learn a sippy cup. I pumped for the first 3 months, then my supply tanked from a combination of factors surrounding his hospitalization and complicated health, and I quit to focus on taking care of him and myself. Around Christmas when he was 6 months old I decided to relactate for him, and even though he can’t latch and take it “straight from the tap” he gets mama milk in his food/sippy/etc. I love seeing women who are fierce, proud, badass breastfeeders… but every time I see those gorgeous pictures of mama and baby and see that bond, I want to cry. It’s beautiful, and it fills me with such a deep deep hurt and almost jealousy that I never got to have that with my little one for more than a few fleeting minutes when he was 2 weeks old. I’m trying to learn to let go of that pain, because I know I should be grateful for all of the miracles I’ve seen him experience. But it hurts.

So I guess what I’m saying from one woman to another is thank you so so so much for holding your little chunka tight, breastfeeding her shamelessly, bedsharing, and being an outspoken advocate for everyone else to be able to do the same. I always knew that I wanted all of that, and not being able to do certain things the way I had hoped has only reinforced my desire to fight to normalize these types of parenting behaviors.

Just thank you so much again for everything you do to fight for natural/gentle/attachment parenting and co-everything. It means the world to me as a young mother to have strong women like you to look up to as pillars of the parenting communities that I’m a part of.

Love & solidarity, Always

Danica and River Hecht
Instagram – DANICAHECHT (http://instagram.com/danicahecht)