Married or Nah?
Many always inquire about my relationship status with Passive aggressive questions such as, “Ms. Wrights Way, how are you single?” “Who would not want to be with you?”
I grin. I smile… I sigh…
Yet What if I told you that they were all married…
All of them.
Married to the streets, a slave to adrenaline and caution tape. Married to money, short and or long, quick and or slow. Married to the perversion of multiple partners and risky activities. Married to dishonesty and manipulation; pretending is what fills them. Married to good hair and specific body measurements, desiring only my frame as their flesh precedes them. Married to light skin rather than brown skin only compromising because of my “exotic look” and my slanted eyes… Married to the ideal of me of what looks and sounds good as oppose to what they know from what their spirit tells them.
Married to one-night stands and abusive control. Married to hurt and oppression of telling themselves that’s all they know. Married to GTAV, Call of Duty, in which they cant hear their children scream. Married to pain, death and false selves not knowing anyone or anything.
Oh and yes, they were Handsome, cute, young, old, funny, cynical, sociopathic, smart, weird, rich and poor…sometimes drop dead gorgeous, fine than a muhfucca. Yet single? Perhaps? Available? Define that, and if it means aware of true self to connect to my true self, often times not.
However it wasn’t until I was free, that I could see, it wasn’t just them whom were married, it was also me. I have learned patience is virtuous when it comes to love. I want to fall in love for the right reasons and never feel trapped. I want the wedding day to feel glorious and special. I want to be able to wear a Winnie Couture dress that makes me feel like I’m worth a million dollars. I want love in all forms – respect, adoration, trust, happiness – et all! Yes, and a dash of euphoric love-making could bind it all up into a happy little gift for me. I mean, who would not want to know more about what are pheromones and maybe indulge in some love-making. All of these beautiful things and feelings were missing the first time around.
Married to charisma and sexual glances, married to potential, of what?! Doesn’t even matter… Married to the college experience. Married to misogynistic ideals of submission. Married to choke holds and street drags, hang ups and I hate yous. Married to the unkindliness of pushiness, shame and embarrassment. Married to generational and societal pain and propaganda of what my brother should look and feel like. Married to the white picket fence and white dress, 2 kids and a Labrador; or is it dress, fence, dog and then kids?
Just married to false ideologies and religious views that drew us further apart from each other, not moreso than ourselves though… Hell even married to another man married to another woman as they both were married to suffering.
Oh yes, I’ve been there. And with having to unlearn and expand, connect as opposed to linger the disconnect
with self, rarely do I run into men who reflect a true understanding of who I am because they know who they are.
With the continuation of ascension not many know how to breathe up here as they have taken the power of the breath for granted.
And as I have become a refinement tool, many either fight or flight with their reflection, still married to hiding and deception.
So you ask me why am I single? But what if I told you perhaps this is the first time in a long time, I have ever been. Divorce never felt so good.
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