But I Get Shamed – The Difference Between You and Me (Breastfeeding Graduation Photo)

By Ashley Wright | November 6, 2014 108 Comments

So here we are again… It’s like an acne bump that just keeps spreading once the surface has been picked at, scraped, squeezed, scratched and deeply wounded; bacteria overflow. Except now its getting into our breastmilk and

The.

Shit.

Stinks!

The infection makes me gag.

But low and behold we’ve found a cure!

*enters “the Adorable Photo of a Graduating University Student Breastfeeding”
And NO its not Karlesha Thurman and baby Aaliyah who posted a “graduation breastfeeding photo” back in June of this year which was met with much disdain, disapproval, disgust and shame, it’s Jacci Sharkey and her baby boy Alek… YAY! -_-

As much as I wanted to SOLELY jump up and down, screaming cheers of success, progress and woo hoos, I did not. I smiled… then I sighed… And then, shook my head.
Tag after tag from my melanated brothers and sisters, projecting onto me much outrage, disappointment and confusion. Tag after tag they cried out for me to be aware. Tag after tag they implored me to say something. Tag after tag I shuttered, uncertain of what to do.

However, I now shall speak… silence please.

As a breastfeeding mother to a now 22 mos old and a breastfeeding advocate who spreads the gospel on the benefits of breastfeeding and natural parenting, I was extremely excited and tickled to see yet another mother publicly share a breastfeeding photo. A breastfeeding photo that she was proud of during a moment cultures worldwide celebrate, college graduation. Oh how beautiful and happy this recent graduate looked as she glanced at her beautiful baby boy; serene, peaceful, proud, is what I saw. Oh how awesome it was to read so many supportive comments and even cooler to see how the University’s FB Page stood behind this mother as internet articles flooded folks timelines with positive, supportive, praiseworthy titles. And Oh how sad I became to see this not happen for a sister who closely resembled me in skin color who did the same a few months ago.

Yes my Queens and Kings, I am addressing this as a “race”/color problem.

(Leave now or calm your internal, self-hate, white privilege, racial, HUMAN RIGHTS issues and stay to comment on what is actually written)

It is no secret that world wide propaganda spreads the message that Black is “bad” White is “good” – All the way from natural disasters such as Hurricane Katrina (Blacks loot – Whites find) to police brutality and unsound punishments in our legal system. Now it’s ever present and clear in the way we view breastfeeding mothers of color. Karlesha sought to “stir the pot and cause controversy” while Jacci merely wanted to showcase a major accomplishment as a student and mother. Major reads such as Huffington Post, Daily News, FOX, etc. expressed titles that only fed the beast: “controversial”, “internet fury”, “mother defends”, regarding Karlesha, while titles regarding Jacci read “adorable”, “goes viral”, “inspire mums”.

Where are the thot, ratchet, comments now?!

Are we still confused as to why Black breastfeeding rates are extremely low in comparison to others?
Yes, both were met with negativity in comments, yet we cannot deny the fact that Article titles paint a much different intent and view on the same damn picture.

Perhaps it’s because there has been much progression with normalizing breastfeeding or perhaps it is another realistic depiction that pushes the message of those who look like me just aren’t adorable enough.

All the while these major publications continue to show beautiful, breastfeeding, location shots of White people and none of people of color, black women in particular; and they definitely have yet to share any of mine. Yeah I said it!

I could go on and on about the color injustices that are present in many life circumstances, yet I do not like writing long articles and I am not up for it tonight. I mean, What do you expect from a country that was built, “founded” and sustained off of systematic racism?

As Samantha White said on ‘Dear White People’, “Never Mind.”
————————————–

Now please read this.

How do you shame me?
How do you not look at me and see? A Queen and a Queen to be; Royalty.

A woman standing firm in her power and true self as Mother, as creator, as Goddess; as Good. A wombman who bears fruit and neither neglects nor mistreats that which she births but upholds that which is sacred as she nourishes life from her bosom and wears it proudly; consistently attached to her joy and greatest accomplishment.

A human who has dedicated her life to servicing other beings of this planet. A proud lioness whose courage speaks for those who cannot or will not; a survivor for her pride.

When you look at me how do you not see that I open myself up, completely vulnerable, for those who need me? For those who need support, love, encouragement? For the many who are blinded and have lost their way; the access to their power within, and the connection that builds and sustains lineages and kingdoms…great dynasties even?

When you look at me, how do you shame me? Even better question… WHY?

Photographer: Jade Beall Photography